Life and Death at Camp Betty

I started this post back in 2011...never posted it but since the loss of my most recent dog Betty - it felt time.

Bailey Salahuddin Kornegay

I miss my dog Bailey.  She was a Great dog.  I adopted her from Faisal - he was moving and we had kept her many times.  I never thought of myself as a dog person but after having Bailey for several years I am now - one of those....

Bailey lived to be around 14-15, was maybe a Chow mix of some sort - splotchy tongue, extremely sweet, loyal and majorly fierce when she needed to be.  She was a guard dog, an alarm system with a sharp deep bark.  There were only a few people that made her go in protective overdrive - one being a pest control guy with shifty eyes...Mostly she was loving, affectionate, really smart but sheddy.  

I brought Betty (a black lab puppy with a little something else in her) into the girl house in 2010..and Bailey tolerated her but actually became quite ill with a wierd skin - leison thing - I know.  It was unpleasent.  I think that was maybe the second time I took her to the vet in 10yrs.  She taught Betty well though.  How to open the back screen door.  How to take command of the yard - she'd charge up to the fence when neighbor dogs whose yards backed up to ours would check their perimeters.  Bailey would charge and go into attack dog bark mode and Betty would jump and pounce up and down joyfully and dart back and forth.  Betty became Bailey's crazy minon.  Betty loved to sit on Bailey's head since she was a puppy.  Bailey just kind of tolerated it.  When Bailey had her first stroke, Betty layed with her, didn't leave her side.  Bailey bounced back from I think at least a couple of strokes but was kind of caddywhompass since.  The couple of days before she died she was totally rallying and playing , teasing Betty.  Taking control of the bone and daring Betty to get it - then chasing and barking at her. 

Bailey was always in charge.  

Betty and Bailey at Camp Betty

The night before she died she was a little listless and wasn't eating.  Another stroke I thought maybe.  I worked that night and was home around 11.  She was laying outside in the rain and couldn't move.  Called my bro to come over and we moved her onto the porch.  Next morning she couldn't move, eat or drink so I put a blanket under her and pulled her into my office where I was working for the day.  She didn't move all day.  I gave her water from my hand and she drank a little.  I had to go to work that night and Veronica - in the most timely manner- called and came over and sat with her.  Just before she got there Bailey vomited, lost her bowels and began whimpering.  Cleaned that up and her up and Veronica got there.  I went to work and at Veronicas suggestion picked up some pedilight and bufferin.  Bailey barked when I came in the door.  such a strange bark.   A yelp bark.  We sat with her for a bout an hour in my office- on the floor.  Me, Vernica and Betty,  Betty had her paws and head and body all on top of Bailey.  We were having to move her off cause - Bailey couldn't breath but she had to be on her.  It was around midnight I think.  We both went to the kitchen for a moment and she barked again  a few minutes later.  When we came back in she wasn't breathing anymore.  I wept so hard.  Betty was there.  I cradled that beautiful, loyal, hairy animal for a long time.  Karen, Tom and Andy came over the next day and we dug a big hole, tossed in a drum head for Faisal, her leash, her bowl and her rug.  "This is going in the hole!"  said Karen.

Betty at Easter 2016

Now Betty is gone after suffering a long illness.  She had always had problems with eating and coughing and she starting throwing most of her food up.  The vet diagnosed her  a little over a year ago with Megaesophagus - which means it became difficult to swallow and heartburn and eventually other things.  I changed her food, fed her small bites at a time and she took medications that seemed to help a great deal.   It was a tough year and it taught me a lot about dogs, patience and love.  

My roommate Liz who took care of her when I was away or working said " She loved you."  Boy she sure did and am so appreciative of her devotion and love.  Well, I did clean up her throw up, her slobbering and her snot (oh my God there was a lot of snot) for many months and all that comes out with death...Yes, she loved me and I loved her so.  The silence is deafening.  The loss of the warm greeting and loyalty is heavy.  I am definitely a dog person. An animal person.  I'm one of those.

She was a sick girl but she hung on like mad and rallied many times.  As my vet said "Labs tend to hang on longer than they should." 

When he first diagnosed her we got home from the vet and went to our spot on the back porch where we sit and watch.  She went by herself to the center of the yard wistfully looking around.  She knew her days were numbered.  

Betty and Leo

During the good times she held court at Camp Betty.  Our backyard had become a favorite spot for Leo - Tom's dog and Noah - Katie's dog along with many others that would visit.  I would teach them tricks like getting on the trampoline and cuing them when to sit, bounce - run etc...

Betty and Noah

Betty loved to jump high for a stick and she loved her Aflac duck.

When she was younger and stronger she would run like the wind.  So fast was she that we nicknamed her Zenyatta like the race horse.  She was named after my mother Betty.  

Betty and Kellane with Aflac #1 & #2

She was diligent in guarding the backyard and me.  When Kellane moved out she grew more attached to me and in the end followed my every footstep.  Her last few days were pretty tough, couldn't eat, drinking water non-stop (prob kidney failure) and not moving around much.  I made an appointment with the vet to come to the house in the morning, she had lost so much weight, her eyes were receding and her suffering became too much.  I called friends that wanted to say goodbye and told Kellane that I wasn't sure if she would make it until morning.  Tom sat with her while I attended a meeting and we put her inside by the fire.  Kellane called and said she was on her way from Charleston. I told Betty she was coming.  She seized and threw up whatever was left in her body - not much and settled.  

Melissa and Tom and Leo were there, Meems, Laurel Big Dad and Rick stopped in.  Kellane came in and sat next to her, Betty lifted her head and acknowledged that Kellane was home.  She had waited for her.  (and Harriet and Katie) Harriet arrived and I told Harriett I wished I could make it happen faster and she made a call and had the vet on her way.  Katie came in and knelt by her - Betty gave a last swift kick a few short breaths then quiet, then another short breath.  She was gone.  Harriet had just hung up the phone and had to call the vet back to say never mind.

Betty finished strong and went out on her own surrounded by friends that loved her and her sweet pal Leo.  Liz and Lydia came by after she'd gone.  We wrapped her in a sheet, her head on a pillow.  Mel slept in my bed and I slept on the couch with her next to me on the floor.  The smell was not pleasant but it was nice to stay with her as she journeyed to Holbox.  (Holbox, an island off Mexico that Kellane and I visited.  They call it Dog Heaven because there are lots of happy dogs there)

Betty and Leo at the Lake

Oh man, I miss her.  Bam a lam.

Bailey's Excalibur marker and Betty's B marker - a little over the top but ok for now....glad I have a big yard!

In the right place.

After finishing another week long drum residency at Camp Long, a detention camp for kids 13 - 17, I'm reminded of what it feels like to be in the right place doing exactly what I'm suppose to be doing.
Struggling through the moments of heads down, rude behavior, inability to focus and general despondency - I become aware that the struggle is one of the greatest lesson for these kids. From the 17 year old girl with fierce eyes that began each session by saying "I can't do it!" to the boys in the throws of hormonal agony and volatile mood swings the outcome of the week has always been the same.
Girls and boys are separated at the camp and cannot even be within eye sight generally of each other. So when I tell them at the beginning of the week that they will be performing for each other - their eyes grow wide, they slap their knees and toss their heads around, laughing, cringing...some say "no way am I gonna do that!" and some are like "REALLY?! they are gonna be in the same room with us?!"
Depending on how my sessions have been spread out - sometimes there are 2 or 3 kids in each class that were there the previous time. They are usually "sentenced" to 60-90 days.
This session as I arrived there were a couple of girls from before and I walked up to a rousing greeting and lots of enthusiasm where as the boys lumbered in acting as if they would rather be anywhere else - except for a couple of them.
The girls quickly got into it and wanted to learn something hard and challenging.
The boys struggled through several days of vacillating between being uninterested, slight enthusiasm and not getting it with some moments of ahah but they still wanted to do a challenging piece and I would not let them give up.

The third day I arrived all the girls were sitting under a shelter outside and they all looked a little dazed. One of the counselors came over and looked shaken herself and explained there had just been a major girl fight that had exploded very quickly. It took several counselors to pull it apart and a couple of the girls were being treated for minor cuts and injuries. Not sure what happened but the young girl that threw the first punch was taken away and did not return that week.
It was a very tough morning for them all. I asked if they wanted to talk about it but they said "no lets do what we are here to do."

At the last minute I was able to convince some West African artist friends that were traveling and performing in the Charlotte area to come to camp on Thursday to perform for the kids.
The camp came up with some funds to pay them and Wed. night they rolled into town and I had 5 African men staying at my house so that we could all drive together to the camp in Aiken.

Fode, Mohamed DeCosta, me, Aboubacar Camara, Mohamed Soumah, Aboubacar Soumah

Mohamed DeCosta, one of my first dance and drum teachers was one of them. Mohamed was with me the first time I traveled to Africa. While we were there I hung out with his family and spent time observing his culture. Love the man. We have worked together many times over the years and I have the utmost respect for him. His response to most everything is "no problem."
One of the other artists Fode Moussa Camara lives in Charleston and we have come across each other's paths several times. Over the years his demeanor has softened from the very macho African aggressive style to thoughtful, respectful and pleasant. His talent as a drummer is inspiring. Mohamed Soumah, dun dun player - I don't think I had ever met. I thought at the end of the day his intentions may have been for me to go with them... Aboubacar Soumah, young (and "hot" as the girls said) I'd met before was charming and an impressive djembe player. Aboubacar Camara, a griot, was quiet but brilliant playing his balafon.
As these incredibly talented men came into my home late that night and settled onto their mallets on my living room and office floor, their low voices speaking in their native Susu I felt a twing of being disconcerted... Is this crazy? Then I reminded myself of my 10 year friendship with Mohamed DeCosta, his integrity and the trust that I've put in him and I thought - no this is wonderful.

The next morning at the camp The Bothers (their made up on the spot name) performed for my girls and guys and also the summer camp kids that are younger and are usually separated from our kids. My girls got to sit in the front row and the guys had to sit all the way in the back with the younger kids in between. There were probably 75-100 kids in the room. ( I cannot show any of the kids faces...)
They played the first piece and were received with explosive applause and then Mohamed DeCosta asked for volunteers to come up and he led about 15 kids in a dance. It was great and even a couple of the guys got up in front and had a blast. I was a little nervous cause I'd just asked one of the camp directors if it was ok if the kids danced and he shook his head un approvingly at the idea of them potentially getting too wild. I understand that concern. But it was too late and Mohamed had already started the process. THEY LOVED IT. Smiles, laughter, applause. Mohamed led the entire group in song and then they spoke about themselves, their culture, gave words of wisdom about self respect and respecting elders. The kids listened intently and asked great questions.
It was a magical moment for sure.
Afterwards I asked the guys class to stay so we could work on their piece. ( and I felt bad cuz they had to be all the way in the back for the performance) The girls begged to stay as well and sat watching as they struggled through it.
Fode was quick to encourage and to tell them not to give up, to work as a team and with a smile inspired them to do it again. They did and it was much better.
The girls then exclaimed they wanted to do theirs and they switched places.
They got it done and we ended the morning with everyone feeling great.
We decided to stay for lunch and ate the food that is afforded by a very tight budget and apparently little knowledge of what a healthy meal is... fried chicken parts, french fries and canned baked beans, chocolate pudding.... Where is Jamie Oliver????? But as Mohamed DeCosta said, "It is better than nothing."
The next day and last class - they were all stilled buzzed about the The Brothers coming and couldn't stop thinking or talking about them. We ended the week by another performance for each other which went without a hitch.
The turnaround by the guys was what impressed me the most. After whining, complaining, and lack luster practices - their performance for the girls was energetic, fun and full of smiles and a good bit of self conscience butterflies. To hear and feel their excitement, the proud looks on their faces to have them say " I Love this." , for the guy who chickened out at first to sing along and then to jump in and sing and make the girls dance, to have the girls tell me when asked what they took away from this week - the girl that said " I can't do this" said " I learned that I CAN do this and other things if I just try."
All of their comments made me realize they were listening and that I was doing exactly what I was suppose to be doing at this moment an in the right place.
Thankful for that.

Spring turns a man's fancy to ....

There is nothing quite so personal as experiencing one of life's most intense moments - birth, marriage, severe injury or illness, standing ovations, extreme losses, death. When it is not your own or your family's even, the events tend to take on a sorta of voyeuristic feel when you are asked to participate.
Photographing weddings is personal and emotionally amazing to me.
I've done my share and frankly it is not something I seek out but when a long time friend asks - you do it. I have found though that regardless if it is a friend or just a client - weddings tend to kick me in the gut a little to witness. I cannot help but feel the ache and desire of having my own partner in life...oh well....
I've know Ashley Herring for over a decade - she's a force, stunningly beautiful from the inside out and I remember loving her immediately when we first became acquainted.
I haven't even seen her in years but she asked if she could hire me to photograph a celebration of her union with her new love Adam and I was honored to do it....As I told her - I prefer not to get paid for photographing or videotaping weddings of friends - in case it all looks like crap....and I don't do like - traditional wedding albums or editing but I can comfortable document extremely personal happenings and hand it all to you for you to do as you wish...
(Ashley did btw give me permission to post and blog about this....)

Seena doing makeup and lightening the moment.

Ashley and Dad.

Ashley and mom.




Ashley and Adam's event was easy to cover - beautiful setting - beautiful people with a red, white and black theme and LOTs of smiles, great food .

Ashley's dress was designed by one of her students.

Her sister Kim prepared the food - it was delicious and she did not stop moving except for one family photo.

I was trying to figure out how to get several Tupperware dishes to take food home but that didn't happen.... ; )
Brother in law Sammy - made a special tequila drink

tunes......


I adored watching her mom and husband dance and sing to each other.

Lets just say there was No Parking on the Dance Floor.

Family, great friends - personal day.







I'm happy for them. REALLY!

Behind Closed Doors of What's Love 5

WHAT'S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT?
Well, I guess we never get tired of exploring love and sex.
This year's What's Love 5; Behind Closed Doors had its fits and starts but I'd have to say turned out to be the best yet from my view.
What started out as a whim a few years ago with a couple of artist friends has now turned into an incredible event of exploring and celebrating love and sex on Valentines.

Finding and involving new artists every year is the fun part.
Putting it all together is the challenge.
When you have a team of passionate, creative and freakin crazy people it makes for an interesting experience.
Working with over 20 artists....It is a fine and sacred dance to pull this off.
We wanted to raise the level of art exhibited this year so we hand picked artists from a list that many people contributed to.
Lyon Hill first came to mind as well as Micheala Pillar Brown and Dre and Sammy Lopez
Billy Guest was a definite returning talent along with Molly Harrell and Shannon Purvis

This year I met Dre and Sammy Lopez of Piensa Art Company, researched their work and knew they would be awesome in the show.
We asked Dre to come up with the art for the public relations and although his work pushes the comfort edge for me sometimes - that's what we wanted. His work seems to always display a certain amount of violence that I find disturbing yet intriguing.
His design for the event plays off of a Norman Rockwell type scenario with a twist.

We asked him to remove the blood from the man's lip to pull back a little....which he did.
I never heard a negative comment about the illustration but I'm sure it provoked some viewers in a way What's Love never had previously. Regardless - we thought it was pretty cool.

Over several months we worked with the artists on new ideas, logistics and process.

The installations again this year proved to be real crowd pleasers.

Body Rites created a beautiful installation in which a previous favorite, What's Love artist Shannon Purvis received a lovely new pin up on her thigh from Sketch.

I actually purchased one of Franklin McKenzies drawings - one of my favorites - Deviled Eggs.

Billy Guess came up with the idea of creating silhouettes to cover the windows and several people including Sammy Lopez, Lyon and Nicoli jumped in to create designs and cut them out.

I became really excited when Micheala Pillar Brown began discussing her installation that would include some nudes of not your conventional "sexy' types. A woman in her eighties, a woman that was pretty large and some photos that make statements about gay black men and the church and either white women that go for black men or black men that go after white women....

My favorite "Troopers Marching Towards Johnson" was sort of a personal whack up the side my head. The blond barbie clenched in the teeth of the nude supine black man with toy soldiers battling south was a reality check of perhaps how some black women feel towards white women with black men....

Course that is just my reaction and interpretation of the image. It could be more of a statement of black men somehow succumbing to or maybe even conquering, manipulating... white women, a practice that I suppose has only been accepted in the past few decades? Regardless - I think her work is amazing and appreciate the bold statements she made.
In the past I've experienced first hand black women's disdain of me being with a black guy. It does not however prevent me from making natural and normal connections with men of any color, race or ethnicity. If loving you is wrong - I don't wanna be right kind of thing.

Behind Closed Doors.
Billy Guess returned with his doors and collaborated with Molly Harrell to create an installation that proved to be a popular photo op.


Amanda Ladymon and crew created a VERY LARGE vagina......

Christian Thee painted erotic and provocative male nudes.
Jenna Sach had beautiful black and white photos AND we proclaimed her MVP of the event. She totally jumped in and worked tirelessly to help with set up.

Eye Candy, an animated film by returning artist Betsy Newman welcomed guests into the space while Claude Buckley brought his humor and lovely drawings enriching a wall from toe to ceiling. (no apologies Claude!)

Bohumila created stunning dresses of copper wiring and other materials worn by equally stunning models.

Whitney Lejune brought in a last minute piece that we all adored and wanted to take home with us and Nikolai presented a colorful palette of paintings that finished out the big wall.

Incredible cut outs created by Lyon Hill became the backdrop for the stage.
Mathew John's images filled the back wall with a sexy twosome.
Sammy Lopez collaborated with R. Chambers LeHeup to create a painting duo that made you go - awwwwe when you read the prose and gazed at the images. It brought a real sweet yet melancholy presence to the show.
I met with Dre Lopez about his piece over a drink one night and when he described it as a woman that was abused - I thought - ok - this should be interesting. He is a tremendous and talented illustrator and I was awed by his drawing. His work gave me chills not always in a good way but the message struck a chord while the details in his drawing were elegant and perfect.

Patrick and Sarah showed their film Merry Go Round upstairs and Shane Silman's one act plays Men Seeking Women had standing room only audiences.
Sherade Duvall presented a film and although I shot and edited a piece as well I didn't have time to finish it and it did not show.

Unbound returned this year with a big burlesque number and TribeSk knocked it out of the park with their acrobatic and crowd pleasing moves.

Perfect music was spun by Chris Wenner that had the night ending in a dance party where everyone was smiling.

This years event's proceeds went to The Nickelodeon Theatre's capitol campaign and we were THRILLED to partner with them. They were fun to work with and were very appreciative of the work our team did on their behalf.

I don't know what love has to do with it except that I truly loved working with all these peeps...all the volunteers and especially:
Whitney, Rachel, Molly, Billy and thanks to Tom Chinn at 701 for all his support!