701 Whaley

E GADS!!!
Got a bit of my arm sliced out July 6th.  Had one of those moles....  fair skinned, blue eyes, blond hair major sun enthusiast since the day I was born and kind of moley anyway.....perfect ingredients for  one of those moles.
I'd watched it change for about a year before having several friends and family say - "you need to get that checked."  Costs were a factor,  even tho I do have health insurance with a $5000 deductible... and played a major role in how long it took me to go in.  Fortunately when I did go my doc Jaffee said - "yep that looks kind of funky", biopsied it and it was indeed melanoma but very early.
So I had part of the skin on my arm sliced out by general surgeon Rick Bell.  I asked him for a lighting bolt scar or maybe an exclamation point? something creative but he said that wasn't in my plan.  Melissa Ligon who was in the room said she'd design it but I think he thought we were silly.
When I first got the word that it was melanoma I gave Libby a call who is an expert in many things and  all things skin and cancer ....she said "Don't look it up. It will be too scary and say "melanoma is the most deadliest fastest metastasising cancers".  Just don't even do it."  I'm glad she warned me.
Of course I did look it up and that was indeed the lead in for a couple of sites I looked at but then I just studied the lingo a little to educate myself about the stages and numbers attached and the calculations they use and percentages and blah blah blah.  So, when I got a copy of the pathology report I sort of understood it and then I asked Dr Bell to explain it to me which he did in simple understandable terms.

I am trying to be pretty matter of fact about it although I can honestly say the questions and the concerns enter my mind more often than I'd like.  Such as life.
I also have to say I have this song going through my head to make light of it to the tune of Mona Lisa, Mona Lisa men have named you -
Melanoma, Melanoma you have maimed me.

Its kind of like the rat in the toilet story tho.

A couple of years ago I got up in the morning.  Peed.  Flushed the toilet.  Was washing my face and then saw something appear in the toilet and it was hairy and it was dog paddling or rat paddling I guess in this case.  I FREAKED!!!  Yelped.  Slammed the door shut (you have to hold the door shut on my old bathroom door -  it doesn't latch.) Kellane was sleeping in the room next door and my roommate at the time Rocio Garcia was upstairs sleeping.  I yelled for Kellane and she was very irritated that I was waking her up.  I said "THERES A RAT IN THE TOILET!!!!"  She said "MOM!  CALM DOWN!  ITS JUST A RAT!  TYLER HAS ONE AS A PET!!!"  She was absolutely no help.  I yelled for Rocio and she came bounding down the stairs to where I was holding the bathroom door shut.  'THERES A RAT IN THE TOILET!!"  I said.  "Move out of d way, lit me see."  Rocio said in her Spanish accent, pushing me aside.  We both peaked in and there it was on the back of the toilet on its hind legs, like 6 inches tall, wet and beady eyed.  Ratatoilet.   Rocio darted to get a broom, I heard a splash.  She said "Move!" and charged into the bathroom shutting the door behind her.  I could hear her poking around and she said "I din't see it!  It is nowhere!"  "I heard a splash."  I said.  She came out an that was that.  It was gone.  Escaped back through the sewer.

I was ruined for several days thinking that I WOULD NEVER be able to sit comfortably on my toilet or maybe ANYONES toilet for the rest of my life.  Damn.  But after a while it was not the first thing I thought of when I would sit down and really don't think of it much at all anymore.  I got over it.

When it comes to melanoma...
One of the most joyful, enjoyable and seemingly healing things I have done all my life is sit in the sun.  It makes me happy.  It gives me new hope, ideas, a recharged feeling.  I am drawn to it.

Now it feels slightly sinister.  Or maybe its just because its the dog days of summer in Columbia, SC where the temperature has reached new recorded highs...
I have this nice inch n a half scar on my arm to remind me to wear sunscreen and put on a hat.

I don't want to be afraid of the sun or a rat or melanoma so I'm just gonna try not and think about it too much.  Until the rat comes back.  Maybe it never will.  I'll get over it.

Life and Death at Camp Betty

I started this post back in 2011...never posted it but since the loss of my most recent dog Betty - it felt time.

Bailey Salahuddin Kornegay

I miss my dog Bailey.  She was a Great dog.  I adopted her from Faisal - he was moving and we had kept her many times.  I never thought of myself as a dog person but after having Bailey for several years I am now - one of those....

Bailey lived to be around 14-15, was maybe a Chow mix of some sort - splotchy tongue, extremely sweet, loyal and majorly fierce when she needed to be.  She was a guard dog, an alarm system with a sharp deep bark.  There were only a few people that made her go in protective overdrive - one being a pest control guy with shifty eyes...Mostly she was loving, affectionate, really smart but sheddy.  

I brought Betty (a black lab puppy with a little something else in her) into the girl house in 2010..and Bailey tolerated her but actually became quite ill with a wierd skin - leison thing - I know.  It was unpleasent.  I think that was maybe the second time I took her to the vet in 10yrs.  She taught Betty well though.  How to open the back screen door.  How to take command of the yard - she'd charge up to the fence when neighbor dogs whose yards backed up to ours would check their perimeters.  Bailey would charge and go into attack dog bark mode and Betty would jump and pounce up and down joyfully and dart back and forth.  Betty became Bailey's crazy minon.  Betty loved to sit on Bailey's head since she was a puppy.  Bailey just kind of tolerated it.  When Bailey had her first stroke, Betty layed with her, didn't leave her side.  Bailey bounced back from I think at least a couple of strokes but was kind of caddywhompass since.  The couple of days before she died she was totally rallying and playing , teasing Betty.  Taking control of the bone and daring Betty to get it - then chasing and barking at her. 

Bailey was always in charge.  

Betty and Bailey at Camp Betty

The night before she died she was a little listless and wasn't eating.  Another stroke I thought maybe.  I worked that night and was home around 11.  She was laying outside in the rain and couldn't move.  Called my bro to come over and we moved her onto the porch.  Next morning she couldn't move, eat or drink so I put a blanket under her and pulled her into my office where I was working for the day.  She didn't move all day.  I gave her water from my hand and she drank a little.  I had to go to work that night and Veronica - in the most timely manner- called and came over and sat with her.  Just before she got there Bailey vomited, lost her bowels and began whimpering.  Cleaned that up and her up and Veronica got there.  I went to work and at Veronicas suggestion picked up some pedilight and bufferin.  Bailey barked when I came in the door.  such a strange bark.   A yelp bark.  We sat with her for a bout an hour in my office- on the floor.  Me, Vernica and Betty,  Betty had her paws and head and body all on top of Bailey.  We were having to move her off cause - Bailey couldn't breath but she had to be on her.  It was around midnight I think.  We both went to the kitchen for a moment and she barked again  a few minutes later.  When we came back in she wasn't breathing anymore.  I wept so hard.  Betty was there.  I cradled that beautiful, loyal, hairy animal for a long time.  Karen, Tom and Andy came over the next day and we dug a big hole, tossed in a drum head for Faisal, her leash, her bowl and her rug.  "This is going in the hole!"  said Karen.

Betty at Easter 2016

Now Betty is gone after suffering a long illness.  She had always had problems with eating and coughing and she starting throwing most of her food up.  The vet diagnosed her  a little over a year ago with Megaesophagus - which means it became difficult to swallow and heartburn and eventually other things.  I changed her food, fed her small bites at a time and she took medications that seemed to help a great deal.   It was a tough year and it taught me a lot about dogs, patience and love.  

My roommate Liz who took care of her when I was away or working said " She loved you."  Boy she sure did and am so appreciative of her devotion and love.  Well, I did clean up her throw up, her slobbering and her snot (oh my God there was a lot of snot) for many months and all that comes out with death...Yes, she loved me and I loved her so.  The silence is deafening.  The loss of the warm greeting and loyalty is heavy.  I am definitely a dog person. An animal person.  I'm one of those.

She was a sick girl but she hung on like mad and rallied many times.  As my vet said "Labs tend to hang on longer than they should." 

When he first diagnosed her we got home from the vet and went to our spot on the back porch where we sit and watch.  She went by herself to the center of the yard wistfully looking around.  She knew her days were numbered.  

Betty and Leo

During the good times she held court at Camp Betty.  Our backyard had become a favorite spot for Leo - Tom's dog and Noah - Katie's dog along with many others that would visit.  I would teach them tricks like getting on the trampoline and cuing them when to sit, bounce - run etc...

Betty and Noah

Betty loved to jump high for a stick and she loved her Aflac duck.

When she was younger and stronger she would run like the wind.  So fast was she that we nicknamed her Zenyatta like the race horse.  She was named after my mother Betty.  

Betty and Kellane with Aflac #1 & #2

She was diligent in guarding the backyard and me.  When Kellane moved out she grew more attached to me and in the end followed my every footstep.  Her last few days were pretty tough, couldn't eat, drinking water non-stop (prob kidney failure) and not moving around much.  I made an appointment with the vet to come to the house in the morning, she had lost so much weight, her eyes were receding and her suffering became too much.  I called friends that wanted to say goodbye and told Kellane that I wasn't sure if she would make it until morning.  Tom sat with her while I attended a meeting and we put her inside by the fire.  Kellane called and said she was on her way from Charleston. I told Betty she was coming.  She seized and threw up whatever was left in her body - not much and settled.  

Melissa and Tom and Leo were there, Meems, Laurel Big Dad and Rick stopped in.  Kellane came in and sat next to her, Betty lifted her head and acknowledged that Kellane was home.  She had waited for her.  (and Harriet and Katie) Harriet arrived and I told Harriett I wished I could make it happen faster and she made a call and had the vet on her way.  Katie came in and knelt by her - Betty gave a last swift kick a few short breaths then quiet, then another short breath.  She was gone.  Harriet had just hung up the phone and had to call the vet back to say never mind.

Betty finished strong and went out on her own surrounded by friends that loved her and her sweet pal Leo.  Liz and Lydia came by after she'd gone.  We wrapped her in a sheet, her head on a pillow.  Mel slept in my bed and I slept on the couch with her next to me on the floor.  The smell was not pleasant but it was nice to stay with her as she journeyed to Holbox.  (Holbox, an island off Mexico that Kellane and I visited.  They call it Dog Heaven because there are lots of happy dogs there)

Betty and Leo at the Lake

Oh man, I miss her.  Bam a lam.

Bailey's Excalibur marker and Betty's B marker - a little over the top but ok for now....glad I have a big yard!